Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Snow White and the 7 dwarfs....a modern tale

Once upon a time there was a fair maiden called snow white. She had run away from home and moved into her own council house in a block she shared with 7 other shorten than average gentlemen. They had all bent over backwards to help this beautiful maiden and she had soon got into the way of life of the area

So much so that Snow white was now on the game to fund her heroin addiction. And of the 7 male friends she has....

Grumpy is off long term sick with his depression. Each time his GP tries him on a different antidepressant he finds a reason to stop taking it after a few days. He hasn’t worked for some years now and had to attend anger management classes. This was after the courts made it a condition of his sentence for assaulting Sneezy with whom he had lost his temper. His defence had been the constant noise disturbance of his coryzial neighbour sneezing all night had made him just “lose it”.

Sleepy is constantly complaining of chronic fatigue, cant possibly work because of it, and has self diagnosed himself with ME.

Happy recently was sectioned and has started on lithium and antipsychotics whilst an involuntary patient in the local psychiatric hospital. He’s doing very well apparently although is going to change his name by deed pole to Shaky as he has had some problems with extra pyramidal side effects from the antipsychotics.

Sneezy is constantly at the doctors complaining of his hay fever symptoms and how it stops him sleeping and he couldn’t possibly work as a result.

Bashful is too crippled with social phobia to work despite numerous medications and CBT sessions to help him improve. Whilst his social phobia stops him working, he finds alcohol helps, and can frequently be found down at the Unicorn’s Head having a few drinks.

Dopey is off long term sick with drug addiction problems and is currently appealing his failed DLA application. .

In fact the only one doing any work is of course doc. Hi ho, hi ho, its off to work I go

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